by Annie Klapheke, SC
My invitation to share my reflection came rather organically. Romina Sapinoso, SC, associate director at the Leadership Collaborative, and I live together in local community with the Sisters of Charity of Cincinnati. One recent evening we were hanging out in our living room. I casually shared my reflection of praying with the Gospel for that day, which was the story of the ten virgins and the wedding feast. The next day she asked if I would share my reflection with the Leadership Collaborative. Be careful who you share your insights with, you may get an invitation to lead or present! In all seriousness, I am grateful to Romina for being so affirming of my reflection and for inviting me to share it with all of you.
I want to begin with a few acknowledgments about my own perspective. I am a white cis-gender woman, born and raised in the United States from a middle-class background. This reflection is the lens through which I view the world, and I acknowledge that my world view is both limited and incomplete. Second, I want to acknowledge that I am not a Scripture scholar nor am I theologian; some of you may be. But I am a woman of prayer, steeped in Scripture, as are all of you. So my reflection comes from my personal prayer and openness to the Word, but it will not be a rigorous, academic analysis of the text.
Matthew 25:1-13 Jesus told his disciples this parable: "The Kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones, when taking their lamps, brought no oil with them, but the wise brought flasks of oil with their lamps. Since the bridegroom was long delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight, there was a cry, 'Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!' Then all those virgins got up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' But the wise ones replied, 'No, for there may not be enough for us and you. Go instead to the merchants and buy some for yourselves.' While they went off to buy it, the bridegroom came and those who were ready went into the wedding feast with him. Then the door was locked. Afterwards the other virgins came and said, 'Lord, Lord, open the door for us!' But he said in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, I do not know you.' Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour."
I’ll be honest, this Gospel passage has never been one that particularity caught my attention. It has often left me with many questions. Is Jesus instructing us against generosity, and to look out only for our own needs? Does God really desire to deny anyone entrance into the Heavenly feast? But as I recently entered into prayer with this passage, I was drawn to the word wisdom, and pondered what this reading had to teach about wisdom. Wisdom is a gift I think about and ask for often in my prayer. To me, wisdom has the connotation of being more than just knowledge. It is knowledge paired with a deep intuition about what is right. It is about being grounded and centered in the heart. Particularly now, in this time of transformation within religious life, I am drawn even more by wisdom. As I attend gatherings with my own Congregation, or with younger members across Congregations, I often find myself asking: How do we be wise women in this process of transformation? How do we be wise leaders? These were the questions I held in my prayer. I asked, what set those five virgins apart to earn the esteemed title of “wise?” And what can they teach us, women religious living at this moment in history?
I want to offer three observations about these wise virgins. One, they kept their attention on what was most essential - total union with the Bridegroom, which is to say, total union with God’s love. They were clear about why they were there, and their actions and choices were informed by that desire for union with God’s love. Two, they had a long view that could see beyond the current moment. They had a willingness to be in it for the long-haul, knowing that the thing they most desired may not come immediately, and that they may be asked to wait. Their wisdom was grounded in patience. Three, they gathered what they needed to be ready to move when invited into action. They discerned their needs and they were prepared. They waited with both patience and preparedness.
So what does this mean for us? One, in our living and our leading as women religious, are we clear about what is most essential, and do we keep our focus there? The reality of our lives, our Congregations and our world all hold much complexity. At times we can be distracted or derailed by things that are not essential. How do we keep our eyes fixed on God? Two, do we have the vision to see beyond our current reality? Are we willing to wait with patience and hope, not knowing the day or the hour of when our transformation will fully unfold? The virgins keeping vigil through dark night is an appropriate metaphor for the time of bewildering darkness that we find ourselves in in religious life. Despite the current darkness, can we allow ourselves to believe that the feast truly does await us? And three, are we making the most of our moment now, to gather what we need to prepare us for the opportunities ahead of us? What is the oil we need to carry with us? I think it is likely that the oil we need will not be the same for every situation. It will not be the same for every individual, and it will not be the same for every Congregation. In the parable, perhaps the reason the wise virgins were unable to share their oil with the foolish ones was not because of scarcity, but because that oil was right only for those wise virgins, it was not the right oil for the foolish ones. We must discern for ourselves what we need, based on the signs of the times, and we cannot rely on others to decide for us or to provide for us. For me, the work of the Leadership Collaborative and the work of Giving Voice are examples of how we are gathering now to prepare us for the opportunities ahead. Strengthening our relationships with one another is one of the oils that will sustain us.
In the work of being wise women and wise leaders, this parable teaches us that there are certain things we must take responsibility for. And at the same time, I firmly believe that it does not all depend on us. We would not be women of faith if we thought we could do it all on our own. The work of being wise inherently requires dependence on God. Lady wisdom is constantly being offered to us, if we are attentive and open enough to receive her. So I invite us to hear another Scripture passage about wisdom to remind us of the gift that is always before us.
Proverbs 9:1-6 Wisdom has built her house, she has set up her seven columns; she has dressed her meat, mixed her wine, yes, she has spread her table. She has sent out her maidens; she calls from the heights out over the city: "Let whoever is simple turn in here; To the one who lacks understanding, she says, Come, eat of my food, and drink of the wine I have mixed! Forsake foolishness that you may live; advance in the way of understanding."
We cannot rely solely on ourselves for wisdom. Wisdom is a gift offered by God, and we are always being invited to partake, if only we are attentive to what is set before us.
In closing, I’d like to offer three guideposts for walking in the way of wisdom. These guideposts come in the form of questions. I think these are questions we can ask ourselves in big moments, like working through transitions in our Congregations, but they also can be applied in small everyday situations. The questions are:
What is our prayer?
What is our posture?
What is our action?
That order is important. We may be tempted to jump to the last step of going straight to action. But to be wise we must first ground ourselves in prayer. When we come to God, what is it that we ask for? Can we name and humbly ask for the wisdom we need? Two, what is our posture? After we have asked for that wisdom, do we trust that God will provide? Are we patient in waiting for it’s coming? And finally, only after we have grounded ourselves in the first two steps, what is the action we are invited to? And are we attentive to the invitation and are we prepared to move? Like the wise virgins, may we discern how to be contemplatives in action, waiting with both patience and preparedness, ready to act when Divine Love beacons us.
Questions for reflection:
What are your own insights about wisdom? What insights do you have about the parable of the ten virgins?
What do you see as most essential in religious life?
What do we need to gather now to prepare us for the opportunities before us?
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